Controlling Anger and Learning to Manage

CALM is a group programme for male offenders who are motivated to learn how to understand and manage their levels of anger and their responses.

Tom says ...

"Getting this Community Order and going on the CALM programme has helped me so much.

"You start the programme and some of the other lads thought it was going to be a waste of time. But going through it teaches you so much. Basically, CALM brings to the forefront of your mind what you know but don't always think about. You learn to identify your triggers, and learn to recognise the signs when you are going to lose your temper. These are arousal triggers such as sweaty palms and increased heart beats. Then you learn how to control it.

"You take time out when dealing with a confrontational situation. Sit down: think about the short term and long term consequences.

"When you have cooled off, then you are better able to handle the problem. You have to go back and deal with the issue otherwise things don't get resolved. The tutors also teach you about assertive thinking.

"I have learnt how to say no without being violent. One of the ways is called ‘the broken record technique.' For example a mate comes to the door and wants you to go to the pub, but you don't want to. Don't say ‘No. I can't go because I have no money.' The mate might offer to lend you some cash. Instead, just say ‘No', and keep repeating it... because you mean it.

"I know there are always going to be temptations, and there are always going to be issues. But I've changed and the longer I stay out of trouble, the more that people will believe me. It's no good just saying it, I've got to prove it by living it."